we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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