For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize