u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I pour the whiskey from now on
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
