stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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