This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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