Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
