After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
