Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
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