took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
