All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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