she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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