i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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