Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Randomize
