Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
