not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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