I CAN MOONWALK!
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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