I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
