Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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