Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize