I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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