She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Randomize
