Plan B is the new Plan A
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
