Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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