I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Randomize
