We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
