Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
