clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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