He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Randomize
