Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
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