He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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