You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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