im gay
i know
yea but for you.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize