Buhtt sex?
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
