Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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