i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
