perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
