who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
