Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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