Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
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