got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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