SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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