it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize