she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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