i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
