I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I am naked and annoyed.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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