your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Randomize
