so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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