Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
