I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
