playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
