Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
