Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
