if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
