ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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