remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
The air was thick with penises
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
