you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
