Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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