I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
