Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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