that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
