Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
